[Xitami] FTP , data mode not working

[d calif]

Newbie can't get FTP working
* I have read through the archieves but can't see to find a conclusive 
answer to my problem.
Works locally, on 2nd computer through router with WAN IP.
But remote friend can only log in, but NOT see directories/folders/files.

My setup:
Xitami:  v 2.5c2
Win98se
Router: Dlink DI-604 (NAT)
DSL / Dynamic IP
Base Port: 8000
HTTP Port: 8080
FTP: cmd : 8021
Router Firewall open ports:
Public 8021=8021 Private
Public 8020=8020 Private
Public 8080=8080 Private

Attempted several things:  *every changed was followed by testing both local 
and remote client.
Both passive and active.
Tried opening up a range of ports starting at 8020.  (My friend's FTP client
kept try ports above 8020, i.e. 8024, 8025, 8023.

ipaddress = "192.168.0.102" (was in the default.cfg) change it to ipaddress 
= "*"

Tried to force the External IP
force-ip = "1"
passiveip = "main IP address"  (then changed it to external IP and tested)

We managed ONE successful remote complete connection.
1st friend set his client: "Force Server IP for PASV mode"
friends FTP client had a "NOTE: Useful for servers with NAT/Non-Routable IP"
* We couldn't get a 2nd complete on connection, because his client kept 
trying a different data port each time, at the time only Server Firewall 
ports 8020 and 8021 were open.  We ran out of time and couldn't continue 
testing.

One potential problem is the following line in the his client log:
friends client log during successful connection, including login, seeing 
directories, and downloaded 10 files.
..............
227 Entering Passive Mode (192,168,0,102,38,192)
    Opening data connection IP: 64.172.148.182 PORT: 9920.
    LIST -aL
150 Preparing to transfer binary file
    128 bytes received successfully. (128 B/s) (00:00:01).
.............
code 227 shows the local IP, I had removed all IP's from the default.cfg.
We saw the local IP every time there was a connection and login, but again 
could not see directories/folders/files.