= --- === --------------------------------------------------------------------- ======= -L- -I- -B- -E- -R- -E- -T- -T- -O- SEPTEMBER 1997 ========= ======= The iMatix Newsletter Volume II Issue 9 --- === --------------------------------------------------------------------- = Copyright (c) 1997 iMatix - distribute freely Back issues at http://www.imatix.com Comments to: editors@imatix.com Programming - Conspiracy Theories - Finite State Machines - News - Views WARNING: this edition of Liberetto contains material that is off-topic, in bad taste, and probably offensive to many people. If you choose to read what follows, you do so at your own discretion. (We considered removing the offending section -- near the end -- but thought that the Liberetto archives should rather remain accurate.) == COMMENT ---...-.-...-.--...-.--...-.-...-.....---..-....--.--..-.-.---.-- Bill Gates again demonstrated the flexibility that would make a circus contortionist envious, and that makes Microsoft act more like a two-man start-up than the behemoth it really is. With a modest $150M of small change thrown into Apple's hat, Microsoft has ensured that its software (and especially its browser) will be embedded in future Mac systems. Apple's stock rose from a low point of $12.5 to $26.5 in less than a month. If Bill is willing to invest in Apple, so are we, I guess. Of course, the really interesting question is "Why?" I've been asking around, and have collected lots of theories. These mostly fall into these camps: 1. Bill is really scared of Apple's future Rhapsody system, so wants to be sure that Windows NT won't be made obsolete by it. 2. Bill just wants to make sure that Rhapsody is actually NT 5. Why make life hard for the consumer with all those tough choices. 3. Bill and Steve are really scared by Java, so want to make a last- ditch stand against the Sun/Netscape/Oracle camp. 4. Bill and Steve are really scared by the Network Computer (which is a variation of the Java Threat, only it also includes Nintendo in the enemy camp.) 5. Bill is worried about the Trust Busters who think he has an unfair grip on the computer software industry. He reckons that by buying part of Apple, he can say that he's not only interested in profits, but has a heart too. 5. Bill and Steve are both Scientologists and this is part of a plot to censor all anti-Scientology newsgroups. 6. Bill and Steve are both scared by *something*, and it's not Sun, nor Netscape, nor Oracle. (Nor iMatix, though they *should* be.) They've realised that the old Evil Empire, IBM, is still around, leaner, meaner, and getting ready to blast the parvenues into bloody smithereens. Well, at iMatix HQ we came to a more mundane conclusion. $150M is only three times what Bill spends each year on developing Internet Explorer, something he then gives away for nothing. For this he gets control of the Mac desktop, snubs Netscape, and creates a little more market share for his milk cow, Office. Oh yes, his $150M purchase in shares is now worth over $300M, so it was not exactly wasted money. Pieter Hintjens Antwerpen 2 September 1997 == EXCUSES -....---.-...---.-..-.---....-.-..---..-....----.-..-.--.-...-.-- Yes, another short newsletter this month. The whole iMatix crew have just come back from vacation, and don't feel like working. Lazy lot! So, while we get-out the cattle prods and cat-o-nines, we shamefully present our humblest excuses for a truncated edition. However, we must make it clear that we still aspire to becoming a Serious Journal, with articles on subjects like 'The Somatropic Effects Of Mixed Bilateral Conjunctions' and 'Building Your Own Multithreaded Coffee Dispenser'. In the meantime you'll have to be content with the usual junk. Oh yes, all the usual terms and conditions apply. Any text that may appear to have humouristic tendencies is provided without guarantee of any kind, including the assumed promise of SUITABILITY FOR CHILDREN, and in no conditions will iMatix be responsible, liable, or forfeit for the consequences of CULTURAL HUMOURISTIC SHIFTING or simple BAD JOKES. Everything in CAPITALS should be read while standing upside-down. == NEWS .-...----.-.----....-.--...----.-.---...-.---...-.--.-...---.--..-.. Xitami 2.0 goes into Beta Test! Yes, the web server that dares to say 'Boo!' to the big guys is getting ready for round II. What's new? FTP, browser-based admin, lots of improvements and bug fixes, more portability. Xitami 2.0 also runs on Digital OpenVMS. With version 2.0 you'll be able to run and manage the same web server on dozens of different systems. iMatix Denies Involvement! Amid rumours and press reports, a frazzled iMatix spokesman denied today that iMatix was involved in any way whatsoever in the tragic and premature death of Lady Di, a fourteen-year old cocker spaniel that demonstrated once more the effects of kinetic energy when it ran happily into the road and under a number twelve bus. == LETTERS -..-.----.-.-...-.-.----.-.-.-...-.-----....-.--.-..-..-..--.-.-. Yesterday morning the iMatix Internal Quality Manager was strolling through the office when he came across Mandy, sorting-out the e-mail in large heaps across her desk. (She told us this tale in hushed tones over espresso this morning.) He berated her for keeping so much useless paper on her desk (his words, not ours) and told her to throw-out everything that was not absolutely vital. As she explained, she did this, filling fifteen large recycling boxes with old emails saying 'Xitami is the greatest', 'I don't understand Libero', 'how do I build SFL on SunOS', and so on. Big Al asked Mandy if her desk was now cleared. 'Of course not,' she replied. 'I never throw anything away without making a photocopy first!' Here are a couple of the letters that survived. >Date sent: Sat, 2 Aug 1997 07:50:32 -1000 >From: Art Pollard >Subject: Re: Liberetto II/8 >Just a note about your thoughts regarding WP5.1. There have been many >studies which have shown that a text based word processer is far more >productive than a WYSIWYG one. Why? Because people using the >graphical system spend more time worrying about how the document looks >rather than what it says. The graphical interface for this reason >interupts the thought process and the "flow" of writing. >I am always amazed at how many people I know still use WP5.1 and still >consider it their word processer of choice. (Myself included.) In >fact, I ran into someone not long ago that still uses and loves WP4.5 >though they are part of a University Faculty and has access to just >about anything one could want. >-Art Thanks Art. Perhaps we can use your recommendations to get Mandy to upgrade from her Commodore-64 with Easy-Write. >Date sent: Thu, 28 Aug 1997 23:17:52 +0200 (MET DST) >From: Nils Segerdahl >Subject: Re: Xitami protect root with password. >Hi, >Thank you for your fast reply. >We are launching a prototype web site next week. since it is a >prototype I can take the risk using a preview version of the webserver. >So I would be very happy if you could send me one to try. We are using >a FreeBSD 2.2 unix on an fast Compaq pentium computer. It's so fast >with xitami it's almost unbelivable. >Best regards, > /Nils >"Man skall inte „ga mer „n man kan ta med sig i sin lustjakt" > - Gammalt Bulvanskt ordst„v Nils is referring to the soon-to-be-released version 2.0 of Xitami, also known as 'Xitami 97', where '97' is the percentage of people who cannot pronounce the name. == THE EX FILES --...-.-.--.-..-:\---..-.-.-.--...-.-.---.-.---...-.-....-.- In keeping with this month's theme, we bring you the totally irrelevant and probably treasonable "Di Theory Of The Month" page. Our paparazzi have been busy... Theory 1: Di and company died in a car crash, chased by photographers. This theory is laughable, and we rejected it immediately. It's just too bizarre. We told this to Occam and he fell-over laughing, "Come on", he said, "An amour plated Mercedes 600 does not stop for anything, let alone some concrete pillars. Why did they chose a drunken driver, instead of their helicopter. Why flee the press photographers that they'd been courting all evening at the Ritz? Why did Al Fayeed (little Al?) only have one bodyguard with him. Look at it like any crime: who stands to benefit the most?" Theory 2: Di and co. were killed by a hit squad sent by The Firm*. (Oh oh, they'll send the SAS to iMatix HQ for this!) This is more like it. Very convenient, Princess Di's departure. Now Charlie can marry again, be King, and Di won't go off with that foreign chap. Besides, she tried to leave The Firm, and there really is only one exit. And we know that most premature terminations are caused by unwanted interactions with one's kith and kin. Theory 3: Di and co. did not die at all, but were abducted by aliens. We like this one, but it implies that the French were involved in a cover-up, and we know the French. They could not organise such a delicate matter. (Desole, mes amis, mais il faut pouvoir faire un blague ou deux de temps en temps.) Theory 4: Di had arranged with The Firm to fake her death, which would benefit everyone: Di gets the hundred mill, Charlie can marry again, and the land mine conference gets its saint. Only problem: The Firm has its own ideas, and switches to plan B as described by Theory 2. Theory 5: Di is alive and living with Elvis. Theory 6: Di really is Michael Jackson! Why else would he have to cancel his concert. Being dead is a real hinderance. Though it does not seem to stop the Rolling Stones from doing another World Tour. Remember - you read it here first! * Also known as 'The Royal Family' == TERMINATE THE PROGRAM -...---...-..----....-.---..---...-...---.-...---.- Ardent royalists and paparazzi can send their flames to the editor at flames-r-us@imatix.com. Any other decent honourable folk who were totally offended by the contents of this newsletter can let us know about it. Please do not go postal!